A loved one recently suggested to me that I’m being hypocritical, because of this:
I complain about society judging pole dancers, and try to broaden people’s ideas about pole dancing as a legitimate sport and artistic form, while at the same time not helping my cause by posting risque, sexually provocative photos of myself on the Internet.
By sharing those images with the world, I’m only fueling negative connotations of pole dancing and its connection to strip clubs/strippers.
I really value the honesty and courage it took for this opinion to be shared with me.
Tonight, another sweet friend had me question myself:
Honestly, do I want to make my life more difficult or easier? Do I notice that I’m building obstacles for myself?
Even if other people are being “judgmental” (regardless of whether it’s “right” or “wrong” for them to judge me), do I realize that I could eliminate this source of conflict between myself and others, establish stronger connections to other people and experience more support by presenting myself differently?
Here’s the advice I received:
Regardless of how personally meaningful or fun I think my posts are, the fact is that most of society does have negative attitudes towards brazen and permissive sexuality.
While it’s true that I can do whatever I want and am free to make choices that I personally like, it’s important for me to realize this:
While I may see things one way, most of society is going to see things differently (negatively!) because…
- the things that I’m interested in (pole dancing, polyamory, non-monogamy),
- and the fact that I’m being way more open and public about my sexuality than the average person
are NOT well understood or mainstream.
Image Credit: Bigstock
I’ve been given plenty to think about, that’s for sure!
If my goal is to help people become more curious, open and accepting of alternative lifestyle choices (whether or not they choose to adopt those lifestyles), I don’t want to alienate them by being unrelatable.
I don’t want to turn them off to learning more by being too shocking and offensive for them.
So, now I’m trying to figure out the best approach:
How to still express myself and my thoughts, how to share what fascinates me, and how best to promote openly supportive attitudes about sexuality.